by Bo McBrayer
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The oatmeal chocolate chip cookies I baked a few weeks ago have been enshrined into the permanent rotation. Cooking and baking are like art and science, left brain and right. The former is boundless, untethered from the rules and formalities in baking. What happens if you add too much or too little of one thing in baking? Ruined. Creativity flows like the Nile on the savory line. Technique brings it to life with layers of contrasting and complementary flavors and textures. I can’t even make a chocolate lava cake.
The surprise with those cookies was in my newly found ability to refrain from riffing off of the recipe as written. The only minor deviation was with the type of vanilla extract used (I make my own with Madagascar vanilla beans and bourbon aged in a corked bottle for six months).
Sifted flour and baking soda are whisked with a pinch of kosher salt. A stick of unsalted Kerrygold butter is whipped with both cane and brown sugar. Mix and fold. Drop in your egg and measure the vanilla with your heart. Cascade the rolled oats in slow motion like it’s meant for footage in a Quaker commercial.
Lastly, only the finest NorCal chocolate chips from Ghirardelli find the mixing bowl. I spray the parchment with coconut oil and bake until the outside is crispy and the interior is a gooey, orgasmic explosion. Finish with a few flakes of Maldon sea salt, and now I’m being accused of sandbagging the family because of my baking ability.
Food is music. I’m finding out I like the harmonious symphony orchestra just as much as the shredding guitar solos and drum fills. I guess we do need the running game to set up the play-action pass and enough bourbon to allow the eggnog to age instead of curdle.
~ Check Out Our Week 11 Fantasy Football Rankings ~
Week 12 Fantasy Football: Acidic & Alkaline
Anthony the Lion Killer
I was angry when the Colts benched Anthony Richardson for Joe Flacco. What a moronic decision. It reeked of Jim Irsay’s post-bender psychopathy, even though Shane Steichen impaled himself on the sword. Richardson is rightfully reinstated and possesses the type of exciting superhero magic it will take to knock the Detroit Lions off their high horse.
This game has real shootout potential despite an underlying measure of disrespect for the underachieving Colts. Detroit has smashed their lesser opponents but has been tested by the better ones. Indy could be somewhere in the middle, but I suspect Richardson can elevate them to push the Lions.
The Colts defense has been wildly inconsistent this season. While I think they have the heft to stand toe-to-toe with Detroit’s physicality, they might not have the team speed to account for Jahmry Gibbs and Jameson Williams. Look for those two to have an extremely bipolar range of outcomes. On the Indy offense, Josh Downs is that dude. He’s just as good with Richardson as he was with the Delaware Blue Hen. I also think we get another potential Moss game from one Alec Pierce. While everyone is rightfully leering at the Lions’ weaponry, don’t let the wool obscure the upside that lies with the home team.
This is JSN
It’s a battle for first place in the NFC West between…the Cardinals and Seahawks? Some of us are still waiting for the other shoe to drop and for the Rams and 49ers to rise like cream. They might still, but this game is ultra intriguing for us fantasy junkies. Kyler Murray has answered the call of duty and has excelled with star receivers Marvin Harrison and Trey McBride. The guy I’m watching out for in this one is James Conner. The veteran running back has been unbelievable in 2024 and is primed to explode on an undersized Seattle defense.
Geno Smith still ain’t written back to the haters. Ryan Grubb has shined in his first professional stint and has unlocked Rose Bowl Jaxon Smith-Njigba like he bought all the EA expansion packs with his grandma’s Visa card. D.K. Metcalf is a volatile play this week, while Kenneth Walker‘s success in the running game is the key to a Seahawks win. Arizona has kept their opponents out of the end zone in three of their last four games, so Geno will really need to earn it to vault his team into first place.
Smitty from Pity
Speaking of the Rams, they look mighty scary with Puka Nacua and Cooper Kupp back on the field. Their defense is fine, but they need to play fantasy-friendly ball to win games. This is especially true against teams as strong as Philadelphia. Despite the Eagles being run by a toddler, their roster stacks up with any in the NFL. Kyren Williams hasn’t had a volume-based slate-breaker in a while, but I don’t expect that sort of spike against this excellent Philly defense. Matthew Stafford has his work cut out for him.
Jalen Hurts will certainly miss Devonta Smith this week. A.J. Brown and Saquon Barkley can hurt the Rams plenty, but Hurts might be in line for an epic rushing performance. Either that, or we’ll get a million check down passes to the insufferably boring Dallas Goedert. At least we can take solace in how predictable the Eagles’ scorers are in the red zone.
Har-Bowl G Baby
The marquee matchup in Week 12 is a Monday night clash between the brothers Harbaugh. While I don’t picture as much of a prankster mentality as with the Manning brothers, the Harbaugh boys grew up shrieking “Who’s Got it Better than Us?” like O’Doyle Rules. They are both unbelievably successful football coaches, with John undoubtedly polishing the 2012 Lombardi Trophy at the Thanksgiving dinner table to rub salt in Jim’s wounds. I believe the Chargers can beat Baltimore. Justin Herbert is currently locked into god mode, and the Bolts are playing championship-level defense. JK Dobbins is on a revenge game narrative, while Quentin Johnston must be licking his chops watching all the blown coverages Baltimore has on tape.
Lamar Jackson is still my pick for MVP, but his tape from the Steelers game last week is difficult to watch. The Chargers are just as good on the back end and will force similarly small windows after smothering Jackson’s first read like the Steelers did. Derrick Henry must be a commanding presence in this one. Don’t invest in the Baltimore passing game if you can help it.
Find more spicy advice from Bo McBrayer on Bluesky or on X (formerly Twitter) @Bo_McBigTime & up your kitchen pantry game with his custom spices and sauces at hotboxbatch.com.
by Bo McBrayer
Share
The oatmeal chocolate chip cookies I baked a few weeks ago have been enshrined into the permanent rotation. Cooking and baking are like art and science, left brain and right. The former is boundless, untethered from the rules and formalities in baking. What happens if you add too much or too little of one thing in baking? Ruined. Creativity flows like the Nile on the savory line. Technique brings it to life with layers of contrasting and complementary flavors and textures. I can’t even make a chocolate lava cake.
The surprise with those cookies was in my newly found ability to refrain from riffing off of the recipe as written. The only minor deviation was with the type of vanilla extract used (I make my own with Madagascar vanilla beans and bourbon aged in a corked bottle for six months).
Sifted flour and baking soda are whisked with a pinch of kosher salt. A stick of unsalted Kerrygold butter is whipped with both cane and brown sugar. Mix and fold. Drop in your egg and measure the vanilla with your heart. Cascade the rolled oats in slow motion like it’s meant for footage in a Quaker commercial.
Lastly, only the finest NorCal chocolate chips from Ghirardelli find the mixing bowl. I spray the parchment with coconut oil and bake until the outside is crispy and the interior is a gooey, orgasmic explosion. Finish with a few flakes of Maldon sea salt, and now I’m being accused of sandbagging the family because of my baking ability.
Food is music. I’m finding out I like the harmonious symphony orchestra just as much as the shredding guitar solos and drum fills. I guess we do need the running game to set up the play-action pass and enough bourbon to allow the eggnog to age instead of curdle.
~ Check Out Our Week 11 Fantasy Football Rankings ~
Week 12 Fantasy Football: Acidic & Alkaline
Anthony the Lion Killer
I was angry when the Colts benched Anthony Richardson for Joe Flacco. What a moronic decision. It reeked of Jim Irsay’s post-bender psychopathy, even though Shane Steichen impaled himself on the sword. Richardson is rightfully reinstated and possesses the type of exciting superhero magic it will take to knock the Detroit Lions off their high horse.
This game has real shootout potential despite an underlying measure of disrespect for the underachieving Colts. Detroit has smashed their lesser opponents but has been tested by the better ones. Indy could be somewhere in the middle, but I suspect Richardson can elevate them to push the Lions.
The Colts defense has been wildly inconsistent this season. While I think they have the heft to stand toe-to-toe with Detroit’s physicality, they might not have the team speed to account for Jahmry Gibbs and Jameson Williams. Look for those two to have an extremely bipolar range of outcomes. On the Indy offense, Josh Downs is that dude. He’s just as good with Richardson as he was with the Delaware Blue Hen. I also think we get another potential Moss game from one Alec Pierce. While everyone is rightfully leering at the Lions’ weaponry, don’t let the wool obscure the upside that lies with the home team.
This is JSN
It’s a battle for first place in the NFC West between…the Cardinals and Seahawks? Some of us are still waiting for the other shoe to drop and for the Rams and 49ers to rise like cream. They might still, but this game is ultra intriguing for us fantasy junkies. Kyler Murray has answered the call of duty and has excelled with star receivers Marvin Harrison and Trey McBride. The guy I’m watching out for in this one is James Conner. The veteran running back has been unbelievable in 2024 and is primed to explode on an undersized Seattle defense.
Geno Smith still ain’t written back to the haters. Ryan Grubb has shined in his first professional stint and has unlocked Rose Bowl Jaxon Smith-Njigba like he bought all the EA expansion packs with his grandma’s Visa card. D.K. Metcalf is a volatile play this week, while Kenneth Walker‘s success in the running game is the key to a Seahawks win. Arizona has kept their opponents out of the end zone in three of their last four games, so Geno will really need to earn it to vault his team into first place.
Smitty from Pity
Speaking of the Rams, they look mighty scary with Puka Nacua and Cooper Kupp back on the field. Their defense is fine, but they need to play fantasy-friendly ball to win games. This is especially true against teams as strong as Philadelphia. Despite the Eagles being run by a toddler, their roster stacks up with any in the NFL. Kyren Williams hasn’t had a volume-based slate-breaker in a while, but I don’t expect that sort of spike against this excellent Philly defense. Matthew Stafford has his work cut out for him.
Jalen Hurts will certainly miss Devonta Smith this week. A.J. Brown and Saquon Barkley can hurt the Rams plenty, but Hurts might be in line for an epic rushing performance. Either that, or we’ll get a million check down passes to the insufferably boring Dallas Goedert. At least we can take solace in how predictable the Eagles’ scorers are in the red zone.
Har-Bowl G Baby
The marquee matchup in Week 12 is a Monday night clash between the brothers Harbaugh. While I don’t picture as much of a prankster mentality as with the Manning brothers, the Harbaugh boys grew up shrieking “Who’s Got it Better than Us?” like O’Doyle Rules. They are both unbelievably successful football coaches, with John undoubtedly polishing the 2012 Lombardi Trophy at the Thanksgiving dinner table to rub salt in Jim’s wounds. I believe the Chargers can beat Baltimore. Justin Herbert is currently locked into god mode, and the Bolts are playing championship-level defense. JK Dobbins is on a revenge game narrative, while Quentin Johnston must be licking his chops watching all the blown coverages Baltimore has on tape.
Lamar Jackson is still my pick for MVP, but his tape from the Steelers game last week is difficult to watch. The Chargers are just as good on the back end and will force similarly small windows after smothering Jackson’s first read like the Steelers did. Derrick Henry must be a commanding presence in this one. Don’t invest in the Baltimore passing game if you can help it.
Find more spicy advice from Bo McBrayer on Bluesky or on X (formerly Twitter) @Bo_McBigTime & up your kitchen pantry game with his custom spices and sauces at hotboxbatch.com.
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Hey folks! We cannot understate the importance of being in on Week 12 waiver wire players early while the free agency acquisition budget (FAAB) price is cheapest (or free!), so you can add them to your roster. This is not just for adding them to your roster so your league mates don’t get them first; […]
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Hey folks! We cannot understate the importance of being in on Week 11 waiver wire players early while the free agency acquisition budget (FAAB) price is cheapest (or free!), so you can add them to your roster. This is not just for adding them to your roster so your league mates don’t get them first; […]
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