by Bo McBrayer
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Punctuality and punctuation get me going. Mrs. McBigTime and I have been in a partnership for so long that we shudder to imagine online dating. Not to yuck anyone’s yum, but even imagining what sort of cringy MySpace malarky I’d have on my profile makes me nauseous.
“I’ll cook you dinner if you cook me breakfast” might be the headline. My interests include retreating into the wilderness for long periods with only a backpack and learning how to say “bourbon neat” in multiple languages. I collect cast iron cookware and knives and’m dead to the outside world on autumn Sundays. My beautiful wife rolls her eyes and mutters, “You’re quite the catch,” in a tone with a peculiar dose of sarcasm. “So are you, babe.” I wink at her in the way she hates, but only because she can’t help but laugh at it.
Football has been my obsession since age five (three, according to my mom). My wife’s tolerance for it mostly stems from her propensity for sleeping in on Sundays and catching up on her shows on the TV in our bedroom. Based on polling my married friends, I don’t think I could find another person who supports my interests without equivocation like she does.
Like the world’s most stubborn dog, I have (very slowly) learned how to be a better partner over the years. Still with plenty of faults and annoying idiosyncrasies, my job security as husband hinges entirely on my constant (painstakingly slow) progress as a human. She claims I’m the patient one, while I would have canned myself like Matt Eberflus a long time ago. If I strive to be the Andy Reid of husbands, always innovating new ways to be great, she won’t be disappointed when I’m the Mike Tomlin.
Week 13 Fantasy Football: Fireplace & Commonplace
A Lifetime of Snowflakes
As I get older, I find it easier to respect weather realists. It’s incredibly annoying to hear people gripe about heat in the summer when it’s always hot in the summer. The same goes for snow, where the winter climate always features the white stuff. San Francisco travels to Buffalo for a date with the juggernaut Bills in a snowstorm. Without the snowfall, the 49ers would likely get run off the field by three touchdowns. I think the conditions will keep it within two. Brock Purdy is active, but his offense is very average (or worse) without Trent Williams. Buffalo’s defense should plow them into a culvert.
Josh Allen is still a QB1 in this matchup, with his rushing upside as the main reason. San Francisco welcomes back Dre Greenlaw this week, but the rest of the unit has been pitiful wrapping up ball carriers. James Cook and Ray Davis are both in play, but Amari Cooper is the only wide receiver I like. It won’t take much more than 14 points to beat the Niners this week on Sunday night.
March of Dimes
Kevin O’Connell has welcomed a new castaway to his island of disappointing New York draft picks. Daniel Jones will operate as Sam Darnold‘s backup against the Cardinals. The Vikings are rolling right along on offense, but their defense is to credit for their 9-2 record. Aaron Jones carries a ton of upside against a mediocre Cardinals run defense. Justin Jefferson and Jordan Addison are must-starts. TJ Hockenson is heating up, so don’t be surprised if he puts up a top-5 TE performance.
Arizona has been really impressive…in their wins. The Cards have looked horrific in their losses. Kyler Murray has no excuses for his inconsistent play this season. His running game behind newly extended James Conner has been great. Marvin Harrison and Trey McBride are superstars. Murray is the catalyst. There’s no way this game is close. Either good Kyler drops a 30-burger on the Vikings, or Minnesota suffocates Arizona and rolls over them, with no in-between.
Super Preview
If you disagree, this will be the Super Bowl matchup, but you’re still under the spell that the Chiefs are somehow a team of destiny. You might also be disillusioned with the NFC playoff picture and can’t picture a team coached by Nick Sirianni advancing past Green Bay, Detroit, or Minnesota.
The Ravens and Eagles are excellent football teams. Baltimore has Lamar Jackson and Derrick Henry, with a vastly underrated receiving corps. The Raven’s defense has gotten healthier and has shored up some of the coverage issues from earlier in the year. I think they have the most dynamic offense in the AFC.
Philly’s only weakness is at head coach. Jalen Hurts and Saquon Barkley are fantasy legends in 2024, plus AJ Brown and Devonta Smith are nearing a return to full health in tandem. Their defense is stellar at all three levels. I’m absolutely geeked for this game as a full-screen setup next to RedZone in the late window. Should the Ravens and Eagles reunite in February, this blurb will resurface laced with hubris.
by Bo McBrayer
Share
Punctuality and punctuation get me going. Mrs. McBigTime and I have been in a partnership for so long that we shudder to imagine online dating. Not to yuck anyone’s yum, but even imagining what sort of cringy MySpace malarky I’d have on my profile makes me nauseous.
“I’ll cook you dinner if you cook me breakfast” might be the headline. My interests include retreating into the wilderness for long periods with only a backpack and learning how to say “bourbon neat” in multiple languages. I collect cast iron cookware and knives and’m dead to the outside world on autumn Sundays. My beautiful wife rolls her eyes and mutters, “You’re quite the catch,” in a tone with a peculiar dose of sarcasm. “So are you, babe.” I wink at her in the way she hates, but only because she can’t help but laugh at it.
Football has been my obsession since age five (three, according to my mom). My wife’s tolerance for it mostly stems from her propensity for sleeping in on Sundays and catching up on her shows on the TV in our bedroom. Based on polling my married friends, I don’t think I could find another person who supports my interests without equivocation like she does.
Like the world’s most stubborn dog, I have (very slowly) learned how to be a better partner over the years. Still with plenty of faults and annoying idiosyncrasies, my job security as husband hinges entirely on my constant (painstakingly slow) progress as a human. She claims I’m the patient one, while I would have canned myself like Matt Eberflus a long time ago. If I strive to be the Andy Reid of husbands, always innovating new ways to be great, she won’t be disappointed when I’m the Mike Tomlin.
Week 13 Fantasy Football: Fireplace & Commonplace
A Lifetime of Snowflakes
As I get older, I find it easier to respect weather realists. It’s incredibly annoying to hear people gripe about heat in the summer when it’s always hot in the summer. The same goes for snow, where the winter climate always features the white stuff. San Francisco travels to Buffalo for a date with the juggernaut Bills in a snowstorm. Without the snowfall, the 49ers would likely get run off the field by three touchdowns. I think the conditions will keep it within two. Brock Purdy is active, but his offense is very average (or worse) without Trent Williams. Buffalo’s defense should plow them into a culvert.
Josh Allen is still a QB1 in this matchup, with his rushing upside as the main reason. San Francisco welcomes back Dre Greenlaw this week, but the rest of the unit has been pitiful wrapping up ball carriers. James Cook and Ray Davis are both in play, but Amari Cooper is the only wide receiver I like. It won’t take much more than 14 points to beat the Niners this week on Sunday night.
March of Dimes
Kevin O’Connell has welcomed a new castaway to his island of disappointing New York draft picks. Daniel Jones will operate as Sam Darnold‘s backup against the Cardinals. The Vikings are rolling right along on offense, but their defense is to credit for their 9-2 record. Aaron Jones carries a ton of upside against a mediocre Cardinals run defense. Justin Jefferson and Jordan Addison are must-starts. TJ Hockenson is heating up, so don’t be surprised if he puts up a top-5 TE performance.
Arizona has been really impressive…in their wins. The Cards have looked horrific in their losses. Kyler Murray has no excuses for his inconsistent play this season. His running game behind newly extended James Conner has been great. Marvin Harrison and Trey McBride are superstars. Murray is the catalyst. There’s no way this game is close. Either good Kyler drops a 30-burger on the Vikings, or Minnesota suffocates Arizona and rolls over them, with no in-between.
Super Preview
If you disagree, this will be the Super Bowl matchup, but you’re still under the spell that the Chiefs are somehow a team of destiny. You might also be disillusioned with the NFC playoff picture and can’t picture a team coached by Nick Sirianni advancing past Green Bay, Detroit, or Minnesota.
The Ravens and Eagles are excellent football teams. Baltimore has Lamar Jackson and Derrick Henry, with a vastly underrated receiving corps. The Raven’s defense has gotten healthier and has shored up some of the coverage issues from earlier in the year. I think they have the most dynamic offense in the AFC.
Philly’s only weakness is at head coach. Jalen Hurts and Saquon Barkley are fantasy legends in 2024, plus AJ Brown and Devonta Smith are nearing a return to full health in tandem. Their defense is stellar at all three levels. I’m absolutely geeked for this game as a full-screen setup next to RedZone in the late window. Should the Ravens and Eagles reunite in February, this blurb will resurface laced with hubris.
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