by Bo McBrayer
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Bo McBrayer brings the spice with his fantasy football Week 2 advice, giving you the musings and information you need to keep your lineups hot-n-ready.
Have you ever watched football for 11 consecutive hours on a leather couch?
I have. My current couch is cloth, but I remember back when I was sticking and peeling myself off my dad’s couch out in the country. We had the satellite dish in the backyard that you could see from space. To change the channel, you would enter a combination of letters, numbers, and hieroglyphs to make the dish slowly change coordinates and judge me on my astrological sign.
God bless the 90s. We didn’t have guardian caps to protect our brains, nor bottled water for our daily allotment of microplastics.
Life was good.
I didn’t pay my Hulu bill last week and thus didn’t have my standard intravenous dose of Scott Hanson‘s NFL RedZone. I was a mess on Sunday morning, with my wife instantly annoyed at my incessant whining and bargaining with my neighbor for his login.
Ultimately, I remembered I had subscribed to NFL+ Premium over the summer, which gave me my precious commercial-free RedZone and the “Octobox” with a bit more buffering.
Like a toddler sucking his thumb, I was satiated. Crisis averted. I have Hulu back now and can enjoy the high-definition football festivities again.
Talking about a first-world problem, I acted like the spoiled blonde girl in Willie Wonka when I was met with the slight inconvenience of only being able to watch the locally broadcasted games.
Here’s what I’ll be focused on in Week 2 through the lens of my 46-managed fantasy football teams.
~ Check out our Fantasy Football Week 2 Rankings LIVE NOW ~
Week 2 Punks & Pacifiers
Sourdough Sam’s Blonde Braids
No one is talking about the Sam Darnold revenge narrative. The 49ers visit the Vikings in a very intriguing matchup for us fantasy football types. Darnold looked very efficient last week, albeit against the Division III New York Giants. He found Justin Jefferson enough to pay the bills while Aaron Jones and Ty Chandler were loose on the ground.
San Francisco smashed the Jets in every facet of the game and are probably licking their chops at the prospect of attacking Minneapolis’ newest paranormal expert. Will Christian McCaffrey play? Probably. Maybe less than his usual, or not at all. At least we will be able to pivot, unlike last week. Jordan Mason will be involved, regardless.
In Kyle Shanahan’s offense, he could have a newborn infant at QB and a pregnant chipmunk at running back, but he still averages six yards per play.
Big D. Carr Under the Star
How about the Who Dats? True, they blew the horrendous Panthers right out of the knee-deep bayou water. It was still impressive to see Derek Carr operate so freely like it was Oakland circa 2016. You can thank Shanahan disciple Klint Kubiak for that. New Orleans is ramping up the difficulty level this week for the Cowboys’ home opener.
Mike Zimmer’s defense was surprisingly stout against Cleveland. Or was that just how little Deshaun Watson gives a hoot? Chris Olave should have a really good game against the banged-up Dallas secondary, but I’m worried we’ll need a bunch of receiving work for Alvin Kamara to pay off. Good thing that’s his…thing. Dak Prescott picked the Browns clean from atop his mountain of riches and dodged a bullet when Jake Ferguson‘s knee injury was deemed minor. I think the Saints will win, but this one could be a shootout.
Awakened Bake
I have become a gigantic Baker Mayfield fan. He was my top waiver add at QB for Week 2, even though he probably won’t dice the Lions up for four touchdowns like last week. The Commanders were so bad in the secondary that it was like hanging a slider to Shohei Ohtani.
Every mistake left Mike Evans and Chris Godwin wide open. Jalen McMillan got free for his first NFL touchdown, too.
Detroit’s secondary is markedly better this season, but we will see how they deal with this passing game after struggling to corral Cooper Kupp last week with Puka Nacua out. The Lions offense was like a Ferrari last week, even without much contribution from Amon-Ra St. Brown. I told y’all Jameson Williams is a freak. He makes this unit absolutely lethal at all three levels. Jahmyr Gibbs and David Montgomery will feast on this Bucs front seven. Oh, and some guy named Sam LaPorta is there to chew up yards after catch (YAC).
It’s a shame only one of these teams can start 2-0 this season.
Got His Nails Did
It’s easy to pick on Caleb Williams after a terrible debut performance last week. He’s a lightning rod for criticism but also a really exciting player. Don’t be surprised if he gets to 2-0 without the assist from his defense and special teams in Houston on Sunday night. Williams is a special talent and got the jitters out of the way. DJ Moore and Keenan Allen looked fine, while Rome Odunze is a big play powder keg who will explode at some point.
The Bears’ defense is really good, so they will at least keep giving the ball back to this talented offense. CJ Stroud is so good, but he faces a really talented secondary this week. Again, the player to watch out for is NorCal native Joe Mixon. He was AFC Offensive Player of the Week and will be the key to a Texans win in primetime. You might not like it. It could be fluky. Stefon Diggs has the best matchup again this week since Nico Collins will draw Jalon Johnson, and Tank Dell is slated for Kyler Gordon‘s presence in nickel sets.
Believe it or not, the Bears could start 2-0 this week as major road dogs in Houston.
Find more spicy advice from Bo McBrayer on X (formerly Twitter) @Bo_McBigTime & up your kitchen pantry game with his custom spices and sauces at hotboxbatch.com
by Bo McBrayer
Share
Bo McBrayer brings the spice with his fantasy football Week 2 advice, giving you the musings and information you need to keep your lineups hot-n-ready.
Have you ever watched football for 11 consecutive hours on a leather couch?
I have. My current couch is cloth, but I remember back when I was sticking and peeling myself off my dad’s couch out in the country. We had the satellite dish in the backyard that you could see from space. To change the channel, you would enter a combination of letters, numbers, and hieroglyphs to make the dish slowly change coordinates and judge me on my astrological sign.
God bless the 90s. We didn’t have guardian caps to protect our brains, nor bottled water for our daily allotment of microplastics.
Life was good.
I didn’t pay my Hulu bill last week and thus didn’t have my standard intravenous dose of Scott Hanson‘s NFL RedZone. I was a mess on Sunday morning, with my wife instantly annoyed at my incessant whining and bargaining with my neighbor for his login.
Ultimately, I remembered I had subscribed to NFL+ Premium over the summer, which gave me my precious commercial-free RedZone and the “Octobox” with a bit more buffering.
Like a toddler sucking his thumb, I was satiated. Crisis averted. I have Hulu back now and can enjoy the high-definition football festivities again.
Talking about a first-world problem, I acted like the spoiled blonde girl in Willie Wonka when I was met with the slight inconvenience of only being able to watch the locally broadcasted games.
Here’s what I’ll be focused on in Week 2 through the lens of my 46-managed fantasy football teams.
~ Check out our Fantasy Football Week 2 Rankings LIVE NOW ~
Week 2 Punks & Pacifiers
Sourdough Sam’s Blonde Braids
No one is talking about the Sam Darnold revenge narrative. The 49ers visit the Vikings in a very intriguing matchup for us fantasy football types. Darnold looked very efficient last week, albeit against the Division III New York Giants. He found Justin Jefferson enough to pay the bills while Aaron Jones and Ty Chandler were loose on the ground.
San Francisco smashed the Jets in every facet of the game and are probably licking their chops at the prospect of attacking Minneapolis’ newest paranormal expert. Will Christian McCaffrey play? Probably. Maybe less than his usual, or not at all. At least we will be able to pivot, unlike last week. Jordan Mason will be involved, regardless.
In Kyle Shanahan’s offense, he could have a newborn infant at QB and a pregnant chipmunk at running back, but he still averages six yards per play.
Big D. Carr Under the Star
How about the Who Dats? True, they blew the horrendous Panthers right out of the knee-deep bayou water. It was still impressive to see Derek Carr operate so freely like it was Oakland circa 2016. You can thank Shanahan disciple Klint Kubiak for that. New Orleans is ramping up the difficulty level this week for the Cowboys’ home opener.
Mike Zimmer’s defense was surprisingly stout against Cleveland. Or was that just how little Deshaun Watson gives a hoot? Chris Olave should have a really good game against the banged-up Dallas secondary, but I’m worried we’ll need a bunch of receiving work for Alvin Kamara to pay off. Good thing that’s his…thing. Dak Prescott picked the Browns clean from atop his mountain of riches and dodged a bullet when Jake Ferguson‘s knee injury was deemed minor. I think the Saints will win, but this one could be a shootout.
Awakened Bake
I have become a gigantic Baker Mayfield fan. He was my top waiver add at QB for Week 2, even though he probably won’t dice the Lions up for four touchdowns like last week. The Commanders were so bad in the secondary that it was like hanging a slider to Shohei Ohtani.
Every mistake left Mike Evans and Chris Godwin wide open. Jalen McMillan got free for his first NFL touchdown, too.
Detroit’s secondary is markedly better this season, but we will see how they deal with this passing game after struggling to corral Cooper Kupp last week with Puka Nacua out. The Lions offense was like a Ferrari last week, even without much contribution from Amon-Ra St. Brown. I told y’all Jameson Williams is a freak. He makes this unit absolutely lethal at all three levels. Jahmyr Gibbs and David Montgomery will feast on this Bucs front seven. Oh, and some guy named Sam LaPorta is there to chew up yards after catch (YAC).
It’s a shame only one of these teams can start 2-0 this season.
Got His Nails Did
It’s easy to pick on Caleb Williams after a terrible debut performance last week. He’s a lightning rod for criticism but also a really exciting player. Don’t be surprised if he gets to 2-0 without the assist from his defense and special teams in Houston on Sunday night. Williams is a special talent and got the jitters out of the way. DJ Moore and Keenan Allen looked fine, while Rome Odunze is a big play powder keg who will explode at some point.
The Bears’ defense is really good, so they will at least keep giving the ball back to this talented offense. CJ Stroud is so good, but he faces a really talented secondary this week. Again, the player to watch out for is NorCal native Joe Mixon. He was AFC Offensive Player of the Week and will be the key to a Texans win in primetime. You might not like it. It could be fluky. Stefon Diggs has the best matchup again this week since Nico Collins will draw Jalon Johnson, and Tank Dell is slated for Kyler Gordon‘s presence in nickel sets.
Believe it or not, the Bears could start 2-0 this week as major road dogs in Houston.
Find more spicy advice from Bo McBrayer on X (formerly Twitter) @Bo_McBigTime & up your kitchen pantry game with his custom spices and sauces at hotboxbatch.com
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