“Dirty Ernie” finally kicked the bucket. Ernest Hubbard was my mom’s dad and had one hell of a biography to tell. Ernie lived to the ripe age of 87 and filled those years from Shawnee, Oklahoma, to Northern California with every story and trinket imaginable. 

He was the ultimate girl dad, though his four daughters would always tremble with nervousness about what would fly from his sneering mouth at the Christmas dinner table. He owned a turkey ranch, then a custom butcher shop. The latter was where I learned a lot about where my food comes from and how to properly sharpen a knife.

His laugh was as infectious as it was at my Aunt Trecia’s expense. His goatlike silver beard draped down his chest, laid bare by at least four pearl snaps unbuttoned, and his hair slicked back with the grease from his brow.

Ernie hoarded…erm… “collected” anything he could load into his pickup, with the iron bed rack for hanging slaughtered livestock often displaying random pieces of junk he had acquired via metal detector. He started my sports memorabilia collection, scribbling “Bo” across anything football-related with a dying Sharpie. 

I still have most of the stuff he found in a storage bin, including thousands of unopened packs of baseball cards and autographed magazines. Even though you couldn’t see his apple orchard through the windows of his home (junk piles were eight feet high with walkways carved through like a corn maze), we loved going out to the ranch by Black Butte Lake to pet his crazy dogs and feed his 400-pound pot-bellied pig. 

Dirty Ernie drew more ire for his crass remarks than admiration for the life he paved. I’ll still miss that old goat. He always had a feather in his filthy hat and manure on his boots, but he was family. Cheers, Ernie. Even American Pickers didn’t have time to go through all your shit, but I’m sure there’s great hooch in hell.

~ Check out our Week 6 Fantasy Football Rankings ~

Week 6 Fantasy Football: Ducks & Bread

Bobbies & Lorries

For the second consecutive week, I’ll be hammering the snooze on a 6:30 am alarm for the London game. Shad Khan’s Jaguars have a home game on the road in Tottenham, but they’re calling it a road clash with the 3-2 Chicago Bears. These teams are much closer than their records would suggest, with my lean toward Trevor Lawrence‘s boys from Duval County. Brian Thomas is a stud, with a resurgent Tank Bigsby providing the thundering balance we haven’t seen from a dinged-up Travis Etienne.

I’m still riding with Christian Kirk, who has really turned it on after a slow start to the 2024 season. Jacksonville’s defense has been beans for breakfast (disgusting), so it stands to reason that Caleb Williams will continue to show exactly why he was a no-doubt top pick in the draft. The only maddening thing about the Bears’ offense is how well they balance the fantasy scoring. In this game, don’t hesitate to start any of them.

Battle for the Beltway

According to Marylanders, their home state does crab cakes and football. Though Wedding Crashers taught us “Big Tree Fall Hard,” both Lamar Jackson and Jayden Daniels have a considerable advantage over Vince Vaughn in pocket mobility. The Commanders struck gold with their first pick. Who would have thought a Heisman-winning QB with a cannon arm would enjoy throwing to a guy like Terry McLaurin?

The Ravens’ defense misses Mike MacDonald badly. Thankfully, they have Lamar and some freak alien named Derrick Henry to keep them above water. Mark Andrews is getting heated up, and Isaiah Likely is a bona fide Aaron Hernandez (on the field) to Andrews’ Gronk. Add in Zay Flowers and Rashod Bateman, and Baltimore will have plenty of startable fantasy players versus a suspect Washington defense. The sky is the limit in this game, so stack accordingly in your DFS lineups.

Milton’s Red Stapler

The weather in the Gulf couldn’t wait for the Rays to dismantle Tropicana Field. Hurricane Milton brought devastation to the state of Florida, but the Buccaneers had already embarked to their road game in New Orleans against the division rival Saints. The Bucs are 3-2 this season, thanks to Baker Mayfield and his deadly duo of receivers. Chris Godwin and Mike Evans are formidable for any defense. This is especially true if Tampa Bay can get the running game going. In their wins, they have accomplished this with rookie Bucky Irving.

Rachaad White isn’t dead, but instead more appropriately cast as the world’s largest satellite back. Spencer Rattler makes his NFL debut for the injured Derek Carr. Some analysts are clamoring in excitement for Rattler, while I’m betting he’s completely overwhelmed from the jump and ultimately gets bounced for Jake Haener. Chris Olave and Alvin Kamara might be difficult to trust until Carr gets back, while Rashid Shaheed stays as the nuclear option down the field. I simply cannot endorse Rattler as a professional player based on what he put on his college tape.

Aloha Blue Collar

It’s well-known how much most Cowboys fans and I despise the Jones family. I was raised to spurn mediocrity, flashiness and false promises. There’s no substance or depth to America’s Team. There hasn’t been in nearly 30 years. I’ve been rooting for former Cowboys tight end Dan Campbell and his blue-collar men from the Motor City. I identify with the Detroit Lions. They play a great brand of football and don’t make excuses. Jared Goff is the perfect point guard in Ben Johnson’s offense, distributing the rock to weapons galore.

I believe it’s time for Sam LaPorta to wake the bleep up and start crushing it like last year. It’s still tough. With David Montgomery and Jahmyr Gibbs in the backfield and Amon-Ra St. Brown and Jameson Williams out wide, there isn’t much pie under the whipped cream for Sammy Ballgame. Dak Prescott is playing like a starving quarterback despite swimming in riches like Scrooge McDuck.

CeeDee Lamb and Jake Ferguson have held up their end of the bargain, while Rico Dowdle and Jalen Tolbert have stepped up big time this season. This is shaping up to be another exciting shootout game, and I will not be wearing a jersey in support.

Find more spicy advice from Bo McBrayer on X (formerly Twitter) @Bo_McBigTime & up your kitchen pantry game with his custom spices and sauces at hotboxbatch.com.