Sometimes, life is stressful. It isn’t always tailgating parties and Daisy Dukes like Morgan Wallen sings about. Most of the time, going through a day makes me realize a lot of music is just pandering bull crap. It feels more like Hank Williams Sr. and his crushing, heartache-laced blues. Bills are piling up, and my old dog died. I’m not drowning in a bottle; that’s even too cliche for me.

Instead, I’m writing this column to vent my frustration. After this, I’ll be barefoot, throwing chingazos at the heavy bag in the garage until my untaped wrists start to hurt. The shower door will close before the water is hot. Dad always told me, “You gotta play the cards you’re dealt.” Well, a man can only bluff through so many bad hands with a clenched jaw and a blunt smoked down to a stinger.

I’m not here for a pity party. Everything isn’t really terrible. Blessings have been counted and recounted, with privilege abound. Football is still on television most nights, and the fridge is full of snacks. A five-cat chorus rings out at feeding time, and my border collie spins no fewer than three times in excitement as I approach the door with her leash.

People appreciate the work I do in my profession, and karaoke is on for Saturday night at my house. Next week, I have VIP tickets to Benjamin Tod and the Lost Dog Street Band, a favorite of mine and my wife. We even bought new outfits for the occasion and booked a nice hotel room in San Francisco to crash in with room service after the show.

The music is transformative, much like these first two paragraphs. Benjamin went from a rail-riding junkie hobo to a rising Americana superstar, and his prose has closely followed that journey over the last 13 years. From down and out to major chords: that’s the American dream.

If your fantasy football team started 0-5 and finally won one (like three of mine), you aren’t dead. This is the time to magnify that little glimmer of optimism. Week 7 is the fork in the road. Play the cards you’re dealt. Chances are the aces are on their way.

~ Check out our Week 7 Fantasy Football Rankings ~

Week 7 Fantasy Football: Dunning-Kruger & Schadenfreude

Sugar SKOL

The four best teams in the NFL by point differential are the four teams in the NFC North. Two of those teams, the Lions and Vikings, square off for the first time this season in Minneapolis. Each is a Super Bowl contender, though neither franchise has ever hoisted the Lombardi Trophy. Detroit has achieved a 4-1 record through grit and a supercharged Ben Johnson offense.

Jared Goff is the next great point guard from Cal Berkeley; Jason Kidd, if you will. He will be tasked with distributing the ball to his explosive weapons while facing a blitz-happy barrage from Brian Flores’ Vikings defense.

“Sonic and Knuckles,” also known as Jahmyr Gibbs and David Montgomery, will be of paramount importance to keep Minnesota on their heels. Amon-Ra St. Brown and Jameson Williams are awesome. So is Sam LaPorta, though he has been remarkably quiet save for a flea flicker score last week.

Sam Darnold is not the same guy without a potent running game to support him. The O’Connell offense is lethal when play action can exploit an honest group of linebackers. Aaron Jones is unlikely to suit up again this week, leaving the backfield to Ty Chandler and new-again Viking Cam Akers against a stout Lions run defense. TJ Hockenson is back, albeit on a pitch count. Justin Jefferson and Jordan Addison will need to have huge games to keep the Vikings unbeaten.

Kirko Painz

The Falcons have two losses this season. In Week 1, they were shut down by the Steelers and looked like the old Arthur Smith rambling wreck. Week 3 was a barn burner, with the champs stealing one at the end after a very suspect missed call on obvious pass interference in the end zone. Kirk Cousins is rolling in their three consecutive wins since, though the last two have come against ghastly pass defenses.

Drake London owns the online power slot this season. The Cooper Kupp role in Zac Robinson’s offense suits him extremely well. Kyle Pitts is alive and well, while Atlanta has finally begun to realize how beneficial it can be to feed Bijan Robinson. Darnell Mooney has also been somewhat of a revelation at flanker. Will they keep it up against a well-coached Seattle defense? I want to believe, but I have some doubts.

Ryan Grubb has done a marvelous job with the Seahawks offense. Kenneth Walker is leaving offenses agape while Geno Smith rips throws down the field to his trio of stupendous wide receivers. Most teams have attacked the perimeter of the Falcons’ defense, mainly to prevent Jessie Bates III from wrecking the game entirely. Seattle’s personnel will stress the middle of the field and put Bates in conflict. Jaxon Smith-Njigba is ready for another signature performance, while D.K. Metcalf wants to put last week’s fiasco against the 49ers in the rearview. Keep trying to bury Tyler Lockett. He’s immortal. This game has real shootout potential for you DFS sickos.

Faded Levi’s

Do the reigning NFC champs have what it takes to avenge their Super Bowl loss and knock off the unbeaten champs? Pssh… Brock Purdy has been fine, but Christian McCaffrey‘s absence has really sucked the exuberance from this Kyle Shanahan offense. Deebo Samuel and Brandon Aiyuk have both been disappointing, while George Kittle has been all world.

Jordan Mason is dinged up, leaving some more carries for Isaac Guerendo to crash into his linemen. He should have scored on that long run last week, where he “squeezed” through a gargantuan void in the defense and slid down so Kyle Juszczyk‘s wife could show off her latest creations on camera two plays later. Kansas City’s defense is even better than it was last year. I think they suffocate Purdy.

Kareem Hunt and JuJu Smith-Schuster have paced the Chiefs fantasy scoring recently. Huh? Patrick Mahomes is awesome but is borderline droppable in single-QB redraft leagues. Travis Kelce is a nightmare matchup for the poor tackling 49ers defense. So is Xavier Worthy, who will start heating up again fresh off the bye week.

To be the champs, you must beat the champs. I don’t think the 49ers are pointed in the right direction.

King Bucky

It’s another Monday night doubleheader this week. The NFL brain trust couldn’t figure out how to evenly distribute teams on bye. Only the Bears and Cowboys are off this week, and no one has a bye next week. The first game on Monday is a juicy one, with MVP Lamar Jackson and the Ravens heading south to Tampa to face Baker Mayfield‘s Buccaneers.

Both squads are 4-2 and lighting up the scoreboard. Lamar is playing like he wants his third MVP, while Derrick Henry is on pace for 2,000 yards and 20 touchdowns. Zay Flowers and Rashod Bateman are each fantasy-viable. Isaiah Likely has gotten us there multiple times, and Mark Andrews is a powder keg ready to blow. The Bucs secondary is horrendous, so I think I’ll lean into the passing barrage narrative for this one.

Mayfield is one of my favorite dudes in football. Mike Evans and Chris Godwin (God ChrisWIN) have pulled me through some really hard times over the years. Rachaad White is circling the drain. Good thing Bucky Irving is another quality professional from the University of Oregon, and Syracuse’s Sean Tucker turned garbage time orange last week.

The whole “hot hand” line from Todd Bowles elicits nervous responses from a fantasy committee burned for years by inexplicably stupid Running Backs by Committee (RBBC) approaches. Watch Tampa Bay trade away White once he is fully healthy.

Find more spicy advice from Bo McBrayer on X (formerly Twitter) @Bo_McBigTime & up your kitchen pantry game with his custom spices and sauces at hotboxbatch.com.